You may never notice me, but I'm here, there, and in between wherever I am, wherever you are. That's how I go all at once or not at all. I am a writer. That's what I do; I write. When I am awake that's all I think about. When I sleep I am dreaming and weaving something else to put on paper. I am constantly watching those who walk among us undetected, the quiet ones, those who would snuff us out in our sleep. These are the people I write about, like Joe and Demitri in Mind on Fire available at Amazon.com.
It isn't the darkness that frightens me or the little noises that make life uneasy, it's what I know is out there. It's worse than anything I could imagine lurking waiting for the light to show it where I am and that in itself takes my fear one step closer to it, holding my breath, stopping my heart until I can no longer breathe, I can no longer open my eyes, or exhale.
It's true that in this debilitating darkness I have been called mad, more so difficult than insane, manically creative in my isolation,
depressively inspired looking for the light and yet harmless to those who dare to interrupt the process or oppose creations born out of this path of a mind
on fire within the ashes pursuing sanity and a quiet mind.
My intentions are mistakenly offensive as are my rapidly fleeting brilliance of magical places and mysterious people who cause trouble in my name,
while I unknowingly, yet sub-conscientiously resist the influence as they continue to set up residency in the back of my mind, inconspicuously, yet itchy
in their occupied existence where I am unable to scratch.
In time I know they will move on as have the others over time, changing their minds, changing their names, trying to change mine, retreating their initial mission to take over all who dwell here within, or assuming they can disguise themselves, returning under another name, thinking I have forgotten, unaware and will let them re-inhabit the confines of this narrowing state of disquietude.
Time in the end will rear its ugly head, in that final moment, spit the truth in our eye, turn out our light and walk away.
Works provided:
1. The Vacuum posted on 5/09.
2. Conversations With Death 1
3. Conversations With Death 2: The Ring
4. Conversations With Death 3: The Long Walk Home posted on 7/09.
5. Conversations With Death 4: The Third Pew posted on 9/09.
6. Orange Socks posted on 8/09.
7. Puddles
8. Last Night posted on 4/10.
9. Immunity posted on 6/11.
10. A Little Strange posted on 6/11.
You can contact Dawson here.
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